The Armed Republic of An orphan is a small, socially progressive nation, notable for its irreverence towards religion, absence of drug laws, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed population of 29 million orphanians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 26.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient orphanian economy, worth 1.01 trillion women a year, is quite specialized and led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Retail, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 34,760 women, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life, children who display even minimal sporting aptitude are immediately assigned a personal trainer, Calvinball players are lost for days as they wander the vast halls of their new academies, and women don't report crimes to the emergency services for fear of being arrested. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. An orphan's national animal is the children, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

An orphan is ranked 254,904^th in the world and 665^th in 10000 Islands for Most Patriotic, with 1.61 flags saluted per person per day.